


Coming to Terms

by AstraBabe



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 16:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4186461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstraBabe/pseuds/AstraBabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A talk with Jack makes something Peggy tried to hide rush back into focus. Peggy didn't want to hide who she was - especially from Angie - but if she wasn't careful she could lose everything all over again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming to Terms

**Author's Note:**

> There's a lot of Angie coming out fics and I thought it'd be interesting to write one about Peggy. 
> 
> Thanks to DrPinkky for reading this over! 
> 
> Part 2 is on its way

“Carter, can I talk to you for a second?”

“Jack, I’m busy filing the stack of papers you left on my desk twenty-“

“It’s important.” This caused Peggy to look up from the filing she was so engrossed in. There was an unusual tone in his voice she wasn’t used to hearing. Its sincerity almost worried her. Gingerly, she pushed the file cabinet closed while following his movements with her eyes. The way he held himself was different, too. She’d seen it on him before. Whatever he wanted to talk about, it wasn’t work. No one giving assignments would pick at their hands the way he did. The way he skillfully avoided her gaze was also familiar.

“May I?” he gestured to the chair

“Of course” she nodded.

“There’s something we need to talk about.” his tone wasn’t promising either.

Thompson leaned forward, placing his elbows on the desk. He still would not meet her gaze. He was hesitating now and she noticed. She’d only seen this look on him before when he told her the news about Krezminski. Then, an acrid worry filled her chest, like water fleeing from pitcher to glass. She couldn’t take him avoiding the subject while all the worst possible outcomes she could muster bloomed in the dark parts of her mind.

“What’s wrong?” she stated, standing paralyzed by what-ifs in the corner of the office.

“Carter” he began “I know I’m the last person you’d want to hear this from so please, just try to level with me here.” A small voice in the back of her head hushed the pressure mounting in her chest with one word: Angie. 

It all made sense. The way Thompson spoke and the way he acted as if- as if something had happened. Something had happened to Angie but Peggy would not let her mind wander further than _‘something bad’_. It was out of the question. Of course, in some ironic yet expected twist of fate, it would make sense. After she’d gotten her life somewhat in order, the only person she’d let herself care about had _‘something bad’_ happen to them. And, by Peggy’s past experience, _‘something bad’_ always entailed death. The racing thoughts directed her to the one place she couldn’t bear to let her mind wander: Angela Martinelli’s hypothetical grave. She braced herself for the worst.

“I know.” his words broke her train of thought like waves crashing onto a rocky shore. 

Peggy released a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding. Those words, although cryptic, freed her hand of its white-knuckled death grip on the filing cabinet. Her pounding heart slowed but she was still wary. His words were anticlimactic but she started to wonder: what exactly did he know or was supposing to know?

She gave him a funny look, cocking her head to the side and sending a tumble of deep brown curls with it. “I’m not quite sure I follow.” 

“I know about you and your friend- the Martinelli girl.”

The statement was empty of any menace, but she was nonetheless unnerved. Angie had nothing to do with her work and she’d strive to keep the two as separate as possible for as long as she could. She didn’t want the amiable young woman getting tossed into any mess that could come her way. She pushed back the worry that was finally starting to ebb away.

She scoffed a little, forgetting to hold back as she normally would “Pardon, but you know what exactly? That she’s my roommate? “ she said, traipsing to her desk.

“I know that she maybe more than just your roommate. More than a friend.”

She froze. Now, Peggy had a reason to worry; she was not expecting this. She expected grave news on Leviathan, news that a colleague had gotten hurt, maybe Dottie reared her ugly head again or worst of all that, Angie was in danger. But this, this felt like a kick to the chest and she was wholly unprepared. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Thompson spoke instead in a low voice.

“Listen, I don’t know if it’s true or not. I don’t care if it is, but you have to be careful.”

Peggy experienced a colorful range of emotions in a few seconds but she could only manage to speak out in anger. 

“You are way out of line here.” her words were steeped with venom.

“You’re not in trouble, I’m trying to help you.”

She held her tongue. This was the most genuine she’d ever seen Jack act towards her. 

“I’ve seen the way you are around her and after what happened at the Griffith, I just wanted to warn you. You have to keep her away from this, for her sake. “

“You do not know my personal life and you should stay out of it. You have no right to go accusing me of indecencies like that.”

“Peggy, it’s bad news to bring work near people you care about. Something could happen again, or worse: people could start to talk.” she frantically eyed him over for any sign of meanness or that he was just trying to get under her skin. His expression made him seem pained to be saying this.

She firmly planted her hands on her desk, biting back a surge of emotions threatening to spill out of her mouth. 

“Leave” her voice wavered.

“I want you to take what I said seriously” 

“Leave” she raised her tone “please” and her voiced cracked.

“I’m going” he sighed as he pushed out his chair. He stopped in front of the door, looking back with a pitiful glance.

“Be careful “and with that he was out with the door shut softly behind him.

She stood there for a moment in utter disbelief. What had just unfolded? Her residual anger coursed through her body, causing her to shake horribly. She backed up, heels clacking tentatively, and collapsed into her chair. The events sat tangled together in her mind. She could only rest her head on her hands while trying to calm down. The previous anger that clouded her mind quickly fell away. Something else rushed to take its place and also the place of what caused her to shake incessantly. She stared hard at the seat where Jack once was for an answer when she felt the burn of tears threaten her eyes. She shook her head and blinked them away. No, she wasn’t mad. The anger she was accustomed to putting on like one of her many disguises. It just so happened she got carried away with it this time just like with her thoughts. No, what she felt now was worse. She was scared. No one was supposed to know that about her leanings towards other girls. In fact, no one has ever found out before unless she’d told them. _Were my feelings towards Angie really that obvious? Did anyone else know? Dear god, did she know?_

After what happened to Coleen, she became determined to keep her job from hurting anymore people she cared about.Thompson’s visit made her nervous that she wasn’t as good at hiding her emotions as she’d thought. She didn’t want who she was to threaten the people she cared about, too. Especially since she couldn’t help caring about Angie more than she knew she should, more than she knew was acceptable. The way Angie was made it just so easy to fall in love with her. Her thoughts raced again to the time when she was twelve. _“Your mother and I love you anyway. But you must be careful, people don’t take kindly to queers.”_ The way her father said it; he had such love in his heart. The she remembered when she was sixteen and why her _friend_ at boarding school was sent away on _vacation_. She brought her fist down on the desk. It was all too much now. She had to leave the office with its walls closing in and smothering her, and she had to go home. Home to the high walls and tall ceilings of the mansion. She shuffled out of her chair, gathering what papers she could, before ducking out of the SSR while hiding her face. At least at home she wouldn’t feel so trapped.


End file.
